Mariya V.Dimitrova

Author of article

November 18, 2019

Date

Co-cooking time for the family

Doing things together with your beloved that contribute to your health and wellbeing is vital for a healthy relationship. And according to a 75-year Harvard study, a healthy and harmonious relationship is the most important factor for happiness and life fulfillment. So it’s worth investing time, thought and energy in it. This should come from both partners in order to keep the balance in the relationship. Cooking is one of the things that when done as a shared activity may not only provide good quality food for the couple or family but also can serve as a bonding experience.

For ages cooking has been considered “a women’s duty”. In the past when men were the only ones working outside of the family and women’s sole role was housekeeping and raising the children, this concept was relevant and logical. However, since women started using their intellectual potential, talents and personal qualities to develop professionally, going to work combined with doing the housework turned into a burden too heavy to carry alone. Many women have started to resent cooking and cleaning the mess after it because they have witnessed their mothers doing it without being appreciated by their husbands or even being treated in a disrespectful manner, being taken for granted or seen as housemaids for free by the men they had married.

What happened is that some women continued doing it, feeling more and more nervous and resentful and expressing these negative feelings in their relations with the spouse and the children by becoming grumpy, irritable and overcritical. So cooking as a tedious women’s duty is not an option if you want harmonious relations in the family.

Others just decided to reject cooking as another chore in their schedule and gradually food from fast food restaurants got increasingly popular. It saved time, but it took a huge toll on people’s health.

And there are also these women who just find this activity too boring to do it. It’s an undeniable truth that people are different and some enjoy something that others might detest. There are women who feel relaxed and inspired when cooking. And this is the same as when other people feel refreshed and “in the flow” while doing gardening or doing a sport. However, some women are just not hardwired to enjoy cooking and to feel interested in it as much as others do. Everyday life includes a big number of routine activities that require your energy since doing something through the power of your will is energy-consuming and tiring. The negative effects of boredom are often underestimated (линк към статията за job boredom).

So it’s no wonder that nowadays there are so many women who hate cooking openly or in a hidden way. The thing is that taking care of your children’s health and your own body and mind means eating healthy food not industrially processed. This means that it’s time some outdated concepts and stereotypes were left where they belong – in the past. Nowadays, in order to lead a healthy lifestyle, a family needs to see some things as a mutual contribution to the family, as shared experiences and turn them into some quality time together. Cooking may become much more enjoyable when both partners do it - as partners.

The children can also be involved. Here are some ways in which cooking may be turned into something that feeds the soul not only the body:

·       Turn cooking into a creative activity – try different recipes more often.

·       Turn cooking into an educational experience for the whole family – search information about the health benefits of the different ingredients and about the effect of the various combinations

·       Play your favorite music or switch to a cooking TV channel while preparing a meal to put you in the mood. Talk with the children and your spouse but focus on pleasant, light topics. Do not discuss problems or painful topics while cooking or eating. 

·       Take photos of the ready meal or during the process of preparation and create an album of new meals. If you are a fan of Instagram, share your creations with your friends. This will be an additional motivational factor and will make cooking more fun. Children are even keener on social networks so in this way they can combine spending some quality time with the family in the kitchen with their passion for social networks.

·       Do not accept it as something you must do every day. If on some days you really need to have an evening out and you do not feel like cooking at all, then do something that will fill you up with positive energy which you can exchange with your spouse and children.

·       Buy all the necessary devices that will reduce the time-consuming and boring parts of the whole process of cooking.

Many people dislike cooking because of the dishes that have to be washed afterwards so buying a dishwasher is a good investment in the peace and quiet of the family. It’s a matter of self-respect to value your time and energy.